Chapter 5 – What Did You Call Me?

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Chapter 5

What Did You Call Me?

I will be a true Father to you, and you will be my beloved sons and daughters, says the Lord Yahweh Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18 TPT

 

Before starting this chapter, I have to admit that I struggled a bit with how to compose it. What you are currently reading is the third time I have begun to write this chapter. I had plenty of stories and experiences to share from this season of my journey, but something wasn’t clicking. Finally, I think I figured it out.

The majority of what I have shared thus far you could easily find obvious events that directly related to the church building/fellowship experience. Not so much with the season I am going to share about now. For the most part, everything was good at this church. It was balanced, there was relationship, there was diversity and Holy Spirit. I even began serving in ministry. It was a good healthy fellowship. There was an encounter that happened during this season that did not occur inside of the church building, but I believe it is an experience all God’s people need to genuinely have in order to function as part of the church body.

So, how did I end up at this fellowship? I was getting ready to go away to school for youth ministry. I went to go visit my family in Jersey before I left, during which time I went to visit my mom’s place of worship. After service, I met the Pastor. After a brief conversation that lead to a lengthier meeting and some prayer, it was obvious I was not going to be making it to that school. Instead, I would go to New York, pack my bags and move back to Jersey to embark on the journey of serving as a youth pastor in the church my mom attended. You want to tell God a joke? Tell him your plans.

One of my favorite things about being a part of this church was Sunday nights. The morning service was a typical Sunday service with room for Holy Spirit to move as He pleased. The evening services were reserved for purely a time of praise and worship. There was no preaching, just intimacy with the Father. You could lay out at the altar, dance in praise or sit quietly in prayer as the worship team played music and sang songs. Many beautiful moments and breakthroughs happened during those Sunday evenings. As a matter of fact, now as I am writing this, I truly believe this is what played a major role in the breakthrough I was about to have.

During the course of my time there, I experienced some very challenging moments, not as a result of the church, but life itself. For the purpose of this book, I won’t go too much into detail about the trials themselves. I will however share the God interventions and revelations that took place as a result of those hurdles.

There was a day when I was sitting in my room and was broken before the Lord. My life had been completely turned upside down. I sat there with my head in my hands just weeping. I was about to find out that the broken place is often the meeting place. As I sat there weeping and questioning the Lord, I suddenly felt His presence very tangibly. No one could have prepared me for what was about to take place next. As real as any person could give you a hug and you would feel it, I felt the Father’s arms wrap around me. If I thought I was broken before, I was definitely broken now. But then, He spoke and His words would reposition me forever. He gently spoke to me as He held me in His arms and whispered, “Let me love you like a Father. Let me love you as my daughter.” PAPA!

And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!” Romans 8:15 TPT

         He called me DAUGHTER! All this time-serving the Lord and I never realized how one-sided our relationship really was. I loved God. I knew He was love. What I didn’t realize was the love I had for the Father was a head thing. I hadn’t yet allowed His love for me to become a heart thing. I had knowledge of His love, but I needed a revelation of His love.

We talk about intimacy in the church, but I have to wonder if we really know what that means. Often, we have a hard time gauging intimacy because we have never experienced pure intimacy in our lifetime. We equate intimacy with wanting something in return so we are trained to believe that we must “do” something in order to be entitled to intimacy. This often can trickle into how we relate to God. As orphans, meaning the way we operate before we have had a revelatory understanding of God as a loving Father, we tend to function from a do so I can get or be mentality. If I do enough, I will get God’s approval. If I read enough or sacrifice enough, then I will get His blessing. If I don’t mess up I will be accepted by God. How contrary this is to how Abba desires to relate to us. He loves us just how we are, but He loves us so much He doesn’t leave us the way we are.

Life can deal some heavy blows. Sometimes those blows have come on the other side of vulnerability, so we guard our heart. We should guard out heart, but when we lock it up to the point where we can’t let love in, then there is a problem. Let Papa in. He loves you. There is nothing about you that He doesn’t know including the parts we try to hide from our self. There is absolutely nothing in this world that could make Him love you any less. There is absolutely nothing in this world that could make Him love you anymore. He loves you wholly and completely. He is a good Father, a perfect Father. Let us not filter Him through the lenses of our earthly parents or earthly experiences. Open yourself to Him so He can reveal the true nature of His heart towards you.

There was a statement my Pastor made while I was attending this church that has always stuck with me and surely defines the breakthrough I had…blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood. The identity I struggled with my entire life was settled in the moment I truly understood what it meant to be a daughter. He defines me. He Identifies me. He is my confidence. He is my source. He is my everything. Why else is this so important? When you truly know that you are a child of God (son/daughter), then you can fully function within the body of Christ. Then we can love those who go to other fellowships, look different or worship a little different because ultimately, we have the same Father. Ultimately, we are all family.

God says to you today, let me love you like a Father, let me love you as my son, let me love you as my daughter.

 

Come Back tomorrow for Chapter 6 – Am I in the Wilderness?

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